Selective Hearing....

Biker Dude, you're killing me! Why is it that you can be snoring at the top of your lungs in the middle of the night but claim that I woke you up when I got up and went into the kitchen to get a couple Advil out of the container? Why can't you hear a word I've said when I'm sitting right next to you in the living room? Why do you claim to have the best hearing tests of anyone at work, yet you can't hear me ask you a question sitting across the table. Why can you hear me call you "Ass" under my breath from another room? What?????? Huh????? Could you repeat that? Say again? What??? I give up! (But I still love you in spite of yourself).

Holy Frizzoli, Batman...

I've been trying to grow my hair out for a year now. I've worn it short since I was about 15 (ya, do the math, it's been forever). For many years it has been extremely low maintenance -- no product, no hair dryer, no curling irons -- just me, a dry towel and my hands. Great way to live.

I just remembered that the first time I met my daughter's future Mother-in-law, she told Trish that she thought I'd be way more foofy. Hey - I'm not foofy? And I'm sure she thought that because Trish is a high maintenance girl!

As the old grey hair has grown, so has the rediscovery of my natural curls -- lots of them! It's been kind of fun in a way but I've really gone through some awkward stages and I'm sure that will continue.

Anyway, when "the Dish" came home for Christmas, she trimmed up my shagginess and gave me a new style. Now I'm using product, a flat iron, and trying to be coordinated and keep my tongue in my mouth while I'm fixing this stuff every morning.

I usually let my hair air dry, but tonight I got it in my head that I'd blow it dry and use my new big round brush to save some time in the morning. I've proven once again that I'm a great spaz and I look like Rosanne Rosanna Danna now (except with grey/white hair)! Ah, the humiliation of it all...

So what possessed me to try this "longer" hair version of myself? Who knows. What else do I have to do?

No more payments -- it's MINE!!!

Exciting stuff! Payed off the 'stang! It's mine now, free and clear. You know how it feels to have no more car payments? GREAT! I am so 'cited that I can't even believe it! We did it in three years because Biker Dude was generous enough to add his former truck payment to mine after his truck was paid off. Yes, he loves me that much!

I admit it...

Yes, I know. I've been a total slacker when it comes to the blog. Losing Biker Dude's mother, the holidays, perotitis, sprained wrist, poor attitude about everything -- oh, I could come up with all sorts of excuses. I promise to be more consistant in my posts - guess that could be one of my resolutions.

The holidays were great because we had family together - that never gets old. I'll be more specific as I get my pix downloaded and will share. Hope this finds everyone well and ready for the new year.

I told my boss that I'd come back to work with a new attitude if Santa brought me one. I think he forgot! Tomorrow is back-to-work day for me - I've really enjoyed the two weeks off and maybe that will be the key to the attitude adjustment... or not.

Funeral Potatoes

My Mother-in-law passed away last week. Even tho’ she’d been extremely ill for months it seems like the end was so sudden. I know it was a blessing - she’s in a better place now. She’s pain-free, warm, and with her family. I guess we’re never prepared for the end. It’s been a whirlwind week of arrangements, decisions, tears, regret, coulda-shoulda-woulda...

It’s because of my own experience with my MIL that I promised my kids spouses that I would be the best mother-in-law that they’d ever have - I hope that I was and will be able to live up to that promise to the best of my ability. It was a relationship that I was desperate to have be a great one - it was not. I’ve shed many a tear this past week because I’ve been angry at her for so long for not putting her kids and their families ahead of her own needs. Now, it’s over and I must put that behind me. She gave me my Biker Dude and I am so very grateful for that. He’s a decent, wonderful, gentle, thoughtful, loving and kind man. She gave me, my children, and my grandchildren the greatest gift of all. For that, I am in her debt.

The most tender experience of all was that our daughter was willing to fix her grandmother’s hair one last time. Her three daughters couldn’t be there, so I went along. Our Trisha is so brave, so professional, and she was happy to give that final gift to her grandmother. I had the opportunity to be the “assistant”, which amounted to holding the curling iron on occasion. Trisha did a beautiful job with her hair, she would have been delighted. Then I had the chance to put her jewelry on her. My daughter and I had the opportunity to spend a very intimate time with a woman who could have been a huge part of our lives, but chose not to be. She missed out on so much, but maybe we can fix that on the other side.

I need to add that my selfless girl also cut my Dad’s hair in his signature “flat-top” after he had passed. Those last moments are something that will forever be precious to me because I got to share them with my daughter.

I pray that time will heal my sweet Biker Dude. This has been so hard for him and losing a parent is so difficult. He’s dedicated to making sure that his Dad and sisters get through this alright - what a transition for everyone.

Sleep well, Joyce.

Welcome to Kaylen Rose!

Kaylen Rose was born on Friday, October 17th at 1:43pm weighing in at 7.1 pounds and 18.25 inches long. She's a keeper with tons of dark brown hair and a precious mellow little disposition. I've said she smells like angel wings and is so sweet that we could eat her with a spoon (figuratively). She eats, sleeps, and poops like a pro and we love her dearly! She's our fifth grandchild and second grand-daughter. Oh, life is good.

It's really a strange dynamic to watch your children become parents. To have sons become fathers and see a daughter to become a mother is so wonderful. It's equally interesting to see my baby with his baby - man do I feel old! Trevor the father of a daughter, Trisha the mother of two sons, Trent the father of "one of each" -- my deepest wish is that I did no more harm to any of you other than to scar you for life when it came to meatloaf. These precious grandchildren are the dearest gift of all. Thank you for sharing them with Dad and I - our hearts are full.

Phone Phreak...

These two incidents really happened where I work as an Administrative Secretary. Unfortunately it was the same guy each time. I'm so glad I work at an institution of higher learning...

Him: "Can I use your phone?"
Me: "No problem." (I hand him the phone)
Him: "Aren't you going to dial for me?"
Me: "Sure, do you want to talk to my Mom?"


Him: "Could you give me the phone number for John Brown?'
Me: "Sure. Don't you have the new phone directory in your office?"
Him: "Yes, but can you look his number up for me?"

Gray Matter isn't Gray...

So last week I had an episode of "my head is going to explode" and I ended up at the Dr. and then in the ER with blood pressure issues which pretty much sucked. Anyway, I got to wondering what it would look like if my head really did explode, and I had a vision!

Gray matter can't really be gray. I think it must look like lemon jello that has been thrown against the wall only it isn't sticky - maybe more snot-like in consistency. You know when you get those pre-approved credit card offers with the pretend credit card attached to the application? If you peel it off there's a dab of this goobery stuff that kind of looks like a big booger, but it's clear, right? Well, gray matter is kind of like that, but more yellow with air bubbles in it and less like mucus. Oh wait, like flubber, but light yellow. Can you imagine it?

Just wanted to share my revelation. Maybe I was just going toward the light.

No, I'm not on drugs either. I lied, yes I am...

For my Family...

"Hello, my name is Jeanne and I take Ambien."

"Hello, Jeanne."

You're kidding, right?

So... Last week Biker Dude and I went to see a Dermatologist 'cause we're getting old and wanted to get naked in front of someone we never met before. He went first and came out of the office with a spot on his earlobe that was pre-cancer and the Dr. had frozen it. He's had it done before on several spots and it was no biggie to him - he's such a stud.



Then it was my turn. The Dr. found several spots on my left cheek (yes, on my face -- no butt jokes). She gave me the option of using some potion that would leave me looking like a burn victim after three weeks, or doing the freeze thing. I told her to just zap me and get it over with. She said she saw 5 spots and would be done in a flash. This wasn't really too bad a procedure, but felt like I was being sandblasted by a zillion freezing little needles -- sorta stung, but I've been through worse. Here's was it looked like (sorry for those of you with a low gag reflex).

Mind you, this is on my left cheekbone and about an inch in diameter. It never blistered, but got darker each day as it scabbed over and looked pretty weird. The strangest part is the reaction I got from people around me. Some that I don't even know. I'd almost forget that it was there and then...

**

"Oh my dear, did you burn yourself with a curling iron?"

"Yes, FIVE times in a row!"

**

"Have your grandkids been face painting on you?"

"No, this is just a little splatter from the chocolate pudding I had for lunch, oops!"

**

"Wow, that looks just like a Panther Paw." (the Panther is our High School Mascot)

"Yup, big game this weekend!"

**

"What happened to you?"

"Oh, my son introduced me to the new fad of branding. Much cooler than a tattoo, don't you think?"

**

"What the heck is that?"

"Oh, I was down at McDonald's waiting very impatiently for my McFlurry and they had to Taser me!"

Why is it that people are so anxious to point out our obvious flaws?