The End of an Era...

Our good friend and next door neighbor of over 36 years has moved. He went to an assisted living residence - it makes us sad. No more Don standing at the fence when Biker Dude gets home from work. No more Don to supervise the planting, watering, mowing, raking... it makes us sad. No more Don to pass out suckers to the Grandkids when they come by... sad.

Don has been a great friend, surrogate father / grandfather / great-grandfather figure to our family for many years. I think that he considers Biker Dude to be almost a son to him. They have talked about every subject under the sun over the years and I’m sure have solved many problems in the world. Between the two of them they probably know more of what goes on in the life of an oil field worker than most.

He comes across as a gruff old fart, but in reality is the softest teddy bear I know. He has watched our kids grow up and loved each of them. He’s seen the grandkids come along and has loved them as well. We love you, Don. We’ll come see you and bring you pictures and treats and shoot-the-shit with you as always. It just isn’t quite the same knowing that you’re not just a few steps away. Change is hard on all of us... sad. We love you, Don Stanley.

Funeral Potatoes

My Mother-in-law passed away last week. Even tho’ she’d been extremely ill for months it seems like the end was so sudden. I know it was a blessing - she’s in a better place now. She’s pain-free, warm, and with her family. I guess we’re never prepared for the end. It’s been a whirlwind week of arrangements, decisions, tears, regret, coulda-shoulda-woulda...

It’s because of my own experience with my MIL that I promised my kids spouses that I would be the best mother-in-law that they’d ever have - I hope that I was and will be able to live up to that promise to the best of my ability. It was a relationship that I was desperate to have be a great one - it was not. I’ve shed many a tear this past week because I’ve been angry at her for so long for not putting her kids and their families ahead of her own needs. Now, it’s over and I must put that behind me. She gave me my Biker Dude and I am so very grateful for that. He’s a decent, wonderful, gentle, thoughtful, loving and kind man. She gave me, my children, and my grandchildren the greatest gift of all. For that, I am in her debt.

The most tender experience of all was that our daughter was willing to fix her grandmother’s hair one last time. Her three daughters couldn’t be there, so I went along. Our Trisha is so brave, so professional, and she was happy to give that final gift to her grandmother. I had the opportunity to be the “assistant”, which amounted to holding the curling iron on occasion. Trisha did a beautiful job with her hair, she would have been delighted. Then I had the chance to put her jewelry on her. My daughter and I had the opportunity to spend a very intimate time with a woman who could have been a huge part of our lives, but chose not to be. She missed out on so much, but maybe we can fix that on the other side.

I need to add that my selfless girl also cut my Dad’s hair in his signature “flat-top” after he had passed. Those last moments are something that will forever be precious to me because I got to share them with my daughter.

I pray that time will heal my sweet Biker Dude. This has been so hard for him and losing a parent is so difficult. He’s dedicated to making sure that his Dad and sisters get through this alright - what a transition for everyone.

Sleep well, Joyce.

Welcome to Kaylen Rose!

Kaylen Rose was born on Friday, October 17th at 1:43pm weighing in at 7.1 pounds and 18.25 inches long. She's a keeper with tons of dark brown hair and a precious mellow little disposition. I've said she smells like angel wings and is so sweet that we could eat her with a spoon (figuratively). She eats, sleeps, and poops like a pro and we love her dearly! She's our fifth grandchild and second grand-daughter. Oh, life is good.

It's really a strange dynamic to watch your children become parents. To have sons become fathers and see a daughter to become a mother is so wonderful. It's equally interesting to see my baby with his baby - man do I feel old! Trevor the father of a daughter, Trisha the mother of two sons, Trent the father of "one of each" -- my deepest wish is that I did no more harm to any of you other than to scar you for life when it came to meatloaf. These precious grandchildren are the dearest gift of all. Thank you for sharing them with Dad and I - our hearts are full.

The Karate Kid vs Wii Man...

Okay, so I'm well aware of the fact that since my "Gramma-cation" I have been a total slacker as far as the whole blogger experience goes. Nothing new there. Since spending that whole week in Pinehell I've done nothing but try to put out fires at work and be all things to all people - I can only be nice for short periods of time as of today. Whatcha' gonna do?

I loved spending so many days with my Trisha and her little fellas. It was heaven to me. I always learn so much from those boys. For example...

Karate Kid taught me that there are many rules in the sport of Karate. Did you realize that there is no yawning or farting allowed? Do you know that you need to practice every day and eat healthy and keep hydrated? (Which sounds quite profound coming out of the mouth of a 4-year-old). He also showed us that it's mind over matter for someone of his size and age to break a 1/2" board in half with his hand! Awesome. He also swims like a little fish.

Wii Man taught me more about Mario Smash Brothers than I ever wanted to know! He's an obsessed little machine when it comes to his Wii games, but did show me the art of graciousness when I accidentally beat him when he let me play the first time out! Trust me that I didn't know what I was doing because I can't even play Pac Man - I actually felt like he was a little bit proud of me. We also had some excellent late night chats. He asked me if I knew why he loved me so much. I asked if it was because of my sparkling personality - no. My beautiful eyes - no. My grey hair - no. It's because I'm so SHORT and he'll be taller than me soon! I told him when he can look me straight in the eyes, I'll give him $20. Gramma bribes are so great! He swims like a bigger fish.

Being with my girl is always a treat even tho' I'm not so sure we ever finished an entire conversation. I did get to take her out for dinner on her 9th anniversary since Jamison was out of town and we reminisced about her wedding day and all the preparations. Brought a tear to my eye...

I also got to fold clothes, read a book, sleep in, eat out often, and be a major slug. My kind of time away from home. Think I'll do it again next year and call it an annual event! Go Momma!!!

Happy Birthing Day, Son!

On July 4th, 1972 my first child was born. His daddy was in the military and so it was just my Mom and I at the hospital waiting for him to arrive. It was an awesome experience to bring a new life into the world - he was my everything. Grampa Ky called him "Cracker" for a while -- it didn't stick! So many years have come and gone, so many ups and downs, so much to learn, so much love to give. That love continues to grow and what my Mother told me all those years ago is still very true, "you never stop worrying about your kids", how very wise she is. I love you son. Be sweet, be smart about your decisions, be honest in all you do, be kind to others, and always know that you are one of the first best things I ever did.

I'm finally done!

I finally completed the afghan I decided to crochet for my niece's first baby. Since we don't know what they're getting yet, I had to go all "pastel" on them, but I hope they like it. It was so much fun to make. Who knew I could actually complete a baby project before the baby arrives? Best wishes to you Kari & Brodie. I love you and wish you all the happiness that life has to offer. I can't think of anything that smells better than a brand new baby -- boy or girl!!! Congratulations in advance. I'll send it up with Grandma Gail who is sooOOOoooOOOO excited for this blessed event.

Grampa Gary, Krampa, Gapa Geewe, Poppa

It just makes sense to me that in order to be a wonderful Grandpa you must also meet the high standard of being an extraordinary Dad. He did, he does, he has, he always will.

He became a father himself at the ripe old age of 19. He has never stopped working to make a wonderful life for all three of his children and for me too. This man is a gift to us. He has given his children so much more than he ever got himself. Not material things, altho' there is nothing they needed that they went without - it's the real life "stuff" that every child needs that they got. A loving home, the security of always knowing they were always loved, the gift of a strong work ethic, an example of what it is to be an honorable parent. All those good things that every child should have a sense of. He gives his grandkids all that and more. Whatever he didn't get from his own parents, he has made damn sure that our own kids received and he'll go to the ends of the earth to make sure that his grandkids know the very exact place that true and unconditional love comes from.

He loves his children and grandchildren more than life itself. His goal is to know each one of these kids individually and their unique personalities, their quirks, likes and dislikes and to make sure that everything they do together is always FUN!

Since he is by nature, a fretter, imagine all the years that have gone by with him worrying about the success or failure of everything affecting the lives of our family. He has broad shoulders that bare the weight of this hard old world. He worries, comes up with solutions and coping mechanisms, but most of all with just plain hard work and determination he helps get us through whatever we're facing.

His gift to his grandchildren is going to be the wonderful portraits that Miss TJ has taken of them together. He's said, "When I'm dead and gone at least they'll have those photos and all of the memories that go with them." In my humble opinion, it's going to be those wonderful memories that will last the longest! The photos reflect some of his many interests: motorcycles, fishing, football and Nascar to name a few. It cracks me up that his first thought when he found out that a fifth grandchild was on the way way, "I wonder what we'll do for our picture?" What a hoot.

If every child had a Grampa like you, Biker Dude, the world would indeed be a better place for us all. Happy Father's Day today and always with LOVE!!!

I saw God today...

in the form of many answered prayers on behalf of this precious little girl. Congrats to Trevor and Lauryn on the "1st day of the rest of your lives together" - words aren't enough to express the thankfulness and love in our hearts.

Why A Daughter Needs Her Daddy...

These are parts of a letter I wrote on October 19, 2003 to Trevor. Three days before his daughter was born . I thought it appropriate to share just now...

"To my dear Son,
I'm so excited for you as you begin this new adventure into parenthood. You're going to be a Daddy and this little girl is going to be a treasured gift that will bring you more love and joy than you ever thought you could experience. You will be her first hero - her first "boyfriend" - and the most important man in her life.

She's going to learn so much from you and you will always be perfect in her eyes. On that same note, you are going to learn so much from her. She will expect the impossible and more than likely you'll come through for her every single time! You will get to be the one she comes to when times are tough and she will know that you will do all you can to make her world safe from harm. Be sure to make the time to build wonderful memories with her - those are the things that will belong to just the two of you.

As I look back on sweet memories of my Daddy, I know without a doubt how much he cared for me. It's incredible to realize how much he loved me even when I messed up - my finest example of unconditional love. As I recall, he was always bigger than the other girls' daddies, much smarter, more handsome, a harder worker, the most fun to laugh and dance with, and the best story teller there ever was. I don't remember a time that he ever said "No" to me that wasn't for my own good.

You're going to be a wonderful Father, Trevor. I promise you that all the time and love that you invest in this precious little girl will come back to you a thousand fold -- the time you spend with her will be well spent. May you experience the same joy and love that my children have brought to me. I love you, Son!"

Trevor, I hope you will always know how much your entire family loves you and Lauryn. We're proud of all you do and all you've sacrificed to make this precious girl first in your life. She is truly blessed to have you as her Father. We are all blessed that you are part of our lives as well!
Forever, Mom