Funeral Potatoes

My Mother-in-law passed away last week. Even tho’ she’d been extremely ill for months it seems like the end was so sudden. I know it was a blessing - she’s in a better place now. She’s pain-free, warm, and with her family. I guess we’re never prepared for the end. It’s been a whirlwind week of arrangements, decisions, tears, regret, coulda-shoulda-woulda...

It’s because of my own experience with my MIL that I promised my kids spouses that I would be the best mother-in-law that they’d ever have - I hope that I was and will be able to live up to that promise to the best of my ability. It was a relationship that I was desperate to have be a great one - it was not. I’ve shed many a tear this past week because I’ve been angry at her for so long for not putting her kids and their families ahead of her own needs. Now, it’s over and I must put that behind me. She gave me my Biker Dude and I am so very grateful for that. He’s a decent, wonderful, gentle, thoughtful, loving and kind man. She gave me, my children, and my grandchildren the greatest gift of all. For that, I am in her debt.

The most tender experience of all was that our daughter was willing to fix her grandmother’s hair one last time. Her three daughters couldn’t be there, so I went along. Our Trisha is so brave, so professional, and she was happy to give that final gift to her grandmother. I had the opportunity to be the “assistant”, which amounted to holding the curling iron on occasion. Trisha did a beautiful job with her hair, she would have been delighted. Then I had the chance to put her jewelry on her. My daughter and I had the opportunity to spend a very intimate time with a woman who could have been a huge part of our lives, but chose not to be. She missed out on so much, but maybe we can fix that on the other side.

I need to add that my selfless girl also cut my Dad’s hair in his signature “flat-top” after he had passed. Those last moments are something that will forever be precious to me because I got to share them with my daughter.

I pray that time will heal my sweet Biker Dude. This has been so hard for him and losing a parent is so difficult. He’s dedicated to making sure that his Dad and sisters get through this alright - what a transition for everyone.

Sleep well, Joyce.